1 00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:09,510 Am I the only one who remembered daylight savings time? 2 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,094 CONVICT: Been here 17 years. 3 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,730 Been on the HBO, the Netflix 4 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,665 and one House Hunters International. 5 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,502 But now I got two new hotshot lawyers working my case. 6 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,306 No sign of a struggle, no DNA evidence in the cabin 7 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,442 and no attractive young woman declared missing. 8 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:46,647 I think there's a very real chance no one was murdered. 9 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,715 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,353 I was on the jury that convicted him. 11 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,188 Had we known there was no victim, 12 00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:56,723 we might not have voted guilty. 13 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,926 I repeat, might not. 14 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,461 Fantastic news. 15 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,130 We got picked up for a second season. 16 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,398 And my appeal? 17 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,600 Mostly to women 25 to 54. 18 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,635 Oh. You mean "appeal" appeal. 19 00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,504 Oh, well, that's not happenin. 20 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,707 (babbling) 21 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,744 (all babbling) 22 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,821 What is it, sweetie? Are you gassy? 23 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,123 Uh, when is she not gassy? 24 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,992 Baby burn. 25 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,194 (moans) If only you could talk. 26 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,998 It's the people who can't speak that have so much to share. 27 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,067 (babbling) 28 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,404 Or maybe not. 29 00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:46,707 (gasps) Wait a minute. I think there's a show 30 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,943 about teaching a baby sign language. 31 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,920 (gasps) I could finally talk to my baby. 32 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:04,224 Maggie, we have a fun week of repetitive drills ahead. 33 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,760 I wonder what the kid was so upset about. 34 00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,664 Don't worry, little baby. 35 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:13,767 I'll be okay till morning. 36 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,538 Now I'm screwed. 37 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:23,543 Congratulations, babies, we've learned some great signs today. 38 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:28,749 I hope you don't want "more," because we're "all done," 39 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:32,753 because our government funding "ran out." 40 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,721 Okay, Maggie. 41 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:39,459 Do you want "more" or are you "all done"? 42 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:42,896 "More" or "all done"? 43 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,766 "More" or "all done"? 44 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,702 "More" or "all done"? 45 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,071 "More" or "all done"? 46 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,740 "More" or "all done"? 47 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,642 "More" or "all done"? 48 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,778 "More" or "all done"? 49 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:58,812 "More" or "all done"? 50 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:01,314 Oh, great, now I'm out of Cheerios. 51 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,116 (belches) 52 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,585 Oh, I thought they were doughnuts 53 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,721 that were really far away. 54 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,523 "More"? 55 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,758 "More"? Aw, that's 22. 56 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,427 You busted. 57 00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,729 Always say "all done" on a hard 17. 58 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,699 Can you say that? "Hard 17"? 59 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,200 Don't teach her gambling. 60 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,369 Let's go, dealer. One more hand. 61 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,571 Aw, sir, I don't want to take your money. 62 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,039 (groans) 63 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,576 Remember to make sure that the warriors you kill 64 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,111 are actually dead. 65 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,380 I recommend stabbing, dissolving in acid, 66 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,082 dynamite in the butt... 67 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,851 GAMER'S MOTHER: Jason. You're late for dinner! 68 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,587 Ma, I'm talking to 30 million people! 69 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:44,257 Boil them, let pigs eat them, Kentucky‐fry them... 70 00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:47,661 Don't play that in front of Maggie. She'll have nightmares. 71 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,429 Eh, suit yourself. 72 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,198 This is more like it. 73 00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:54,634 "Hansel shoved the blood‐covered witch into the oven. 74 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,004 'I'm burning alive,' screamed the witch." 75 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:01,041 More? More? 76 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,043 (gasps) You want more book? 77 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:06,813 My baby's communicating with me. 78 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,183 Let me test it out. Do you like peas? 79 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,252 Do you like applesauce? 80 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:16,256 Do you like Star Wars movies? 81 00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:18,825 What about Baby Yoda? 82 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,362 Hmm. 83 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:28,034 This is so exciting. Look, look what Maggie can do. 84 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,472 Maggie, do you want "more"? 85 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,707 That's my girl. 86 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,009 Look, everyone. She's doing it. 87 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,978 Yeah, that's great. 88 00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,813 Dad, check this out. 89 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,648 He only sings when we're not looking. 90 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,683 Classic aggravation humor. 91 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:46,019 ‐(Marge groans) ‐A dancing frog. 92 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,754 Bet that would cook up nice. 93 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,223 You're missing a crucial moment in Maggie's development 94 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,725 because of these. 95 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,727 From now on, we're gonna limit the time 96 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,897 we spend looking at our stupid phones. 97 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,699 (laughter) 98 00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,501 Yeah, that's great. 99 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,704 And then we'll have a conversation. 100 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,706 (laughs) 101 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,810 Steve Jobs wouldn't let his children use his iPads, 102 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:13,013 and he was a great parent, I assume. 103 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:16,550 From now on, everyone gets a half hour of screen time a week. 104 00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,585 ‐And that's it. ‐Really, Marge? 105 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,988 You think you can give up your Pinterest? 106 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,990 My cake fails are important. 107 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:28,061 If people fail at cake, they need to be told. 108 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,565 Okay. Half an hour a week 109 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,767 for everyone, including me. 110 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,070 I believe there's something you're forgetting. 111 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,572 (sighs) 112 00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:42,342 And? And? 113 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:45,345 (grunts) No more screens. You, too. 114 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,085 Here at Messages, we treat your addiction humanely, 115 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:55,622 with hiking and biking and human equivalents of things 116 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,425 that work with rats. 117 00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:02,362 And all we ask for is your brain when you die. 118 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,831 Well, let's pray this place won't be necessary. 119 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:08,668 ‐(cow bell rings) ‐All right, let's round 'em up. 120 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,670 Okay. It's been one week. 121 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:13,106 Let me check your screen times. 122 00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,445 Wow. They're really low. 123 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,947 I'm so proud of you. 124 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:24,451 I forgot how great it was to crack the spine of a book. 125 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,620 (laughs softly) 126 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,154 I'm calmer, I'm happier, 127 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,724 I'm seeing things I never saw before. 128 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,927 Did you know our second dog is a cat? 129 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,729 (doorbell rings) 130 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,266 Hmm? 131 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,967 Sorry, last time I was here, 132 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,670 I left my screen time reversal wrench. 133 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,472 I could just get that back. 134 00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:49,276 You guys have been having this man dial back your screen time? 135 00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:52,412 Oops. Looks like I just lost a contract. 136 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:53,980 Well, anybody want to buy a van? 137 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:57,450 It only has two miles on it. 138 00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:58,685 (chuckles) 139 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,120 ‐(grumbles) ‐What the...? 140 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,622 Okay, close your eyes. 141 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:06,660 I'm putting these someplace you'll never find them. 142 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,895 (footsteps descending staircase) 143 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,431 (car departing) 144 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,100 (drawbridge lowering) 145 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,569 (plane taking off) 146 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,805 (jackhammer grinding) 147 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,607 (bird squawks) 148 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:25,278 No cell phone. Stuck at work all day with nothing to do. 149 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,880 Lookin' at my feet. 150 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,815 Hey, big guy. What, are you bored? 151 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,850 Why don't you do the Daily Jumble in the paper? 152 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:33,219 Unscramble the words to solve a funny riddle. 153 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,654 Oh, that's what it is. 154 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,157 I thought the proofreader had a stroke. 155 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,158 Let's see. 156 00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,326 Hmm. 157 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,728 "D‐D‐A." 158 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,864 Hmm. "D‐D‐A." 159 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,466 Hmm. 160 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,868 "D‐D‐A." Hmm. 161 00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,203 (gasps) "Dad." 162 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,405 "Dad." I got something! 163 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,709 For the first time ever, I solved a puzzle. 164 00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,744 ♪ ♪ 165 00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,666 (gasps) "Dad ate all the pie." 166 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,402 Call the newspaper. Tell them someone has solved it. 167 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,903 And get me some pie. 168 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,706 I love not using a phone. 169 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,376 It's made me much more in tune with the world. 170 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:32,412 (louder): It's like my senses are heightened. 171 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,183 (thudding echoing loudly) 172 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,752 (whooshes) 173 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,520 Okay, Maggie, time to go. 174 00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,422 Say goodbye to your aunts. 175 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,394 So cute. (laughs softly) 176 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:48,895 What's she saying? 177 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,964 (coughing) 178 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:56,503 She always sleeps so good when she's here. 179 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,241 (camera clicks) 180 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:03,109 Huh? 181 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,680 (imitates rocket noises) 182 00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,849 Careful. If we enter the Martian atmosphere 183 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,951 at too steep an angle, we'll burn up. 184 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:14,354 (gasps, screams) 185 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,257 Tell my family I love them. 186 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,625 (deep voice): They know that, Steve. 187 00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:19,626 They know. 188 00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,361 (imitates static) 189 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,731 (snickers) Bart has to use his imagination. 190 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,634 This is Jupiter One. Do you copy? 191 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,202 I copy. 192 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,570 What are you doing? 193 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,372 I'm talking to Jupiter One. 194 00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,608 Oh, I'll show you Jupiter One. 195 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,610 Jupiter One to mission contro. 196 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,513 Firing photon torpedoes. 197 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,715 (laughter) 198 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:48,421 Um, I'm doing a very important two‐page paper. 199 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:52,425 Do you have any way to find a book without using a computer? 200 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:55,161 Well, the old card catalogue is in the basement. 201 00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,430 Bang on this pot to scare the possums away. 202 00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:58,731 Okay. 203 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,734 ‐(hissing) ‐Uh... 204 00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,805 Hmm. Mm‐hmm. 205 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:08,842 (inhales sharply) Mmm, old card stock. 206 00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,844 So tactile. 207 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,685 (gasps) Look, this one has an old handwritten note. 208 00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:21,521 "Dear Reader..." Ooh, that's me. (chuckles) 209 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,858 "See also: Lost Wax Technique." 210 00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:27,494 I will see also. 211 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,496 (squeals) 212 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,698 "N‐J‐X‐I." 213 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,500 Jinx. 214 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:37,036 "P‐I‐U‐Q." Quip. 215 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,038 I'm solving words I don't even know. 216 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,441 ♪ Jumble boogie, doo‐doo‐doo, doo‐doo‐doo ♪ 217 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,710 ♪ Get down, get down ♪ 218 00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:46,045 ♪ With the goobie, doo‐doo‐doo, doo‐doo‐doo ♪ 219 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,448 ♪ Unjumbled that is boogie ♪ 220 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,450 ♪ Doo‐doo‐doo, doo‐doo‐doo, solve a jumble ♪ 221 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,919 ♪ In your face, world, I'm so humble ♪ 222 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,388 ♪ Now, watch me twirl. ♪ 223 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,590 (screams) 224 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,092 Okay, okay. 225 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,927 I need the recipe for puttanesca sauce. 226 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,695 Can't go online. 227 00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:03,763 No problem. 228 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,732 I've got cookbooks. 229 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,101 Padma Lakshmi's Hot and Zesty. 230 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,171 Tiffany Haddish's Fun with Radishes. 231 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,606 I made 14 of those‐‐ they weren't that fun. 232 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,742 (gasps) I know who to call. 233 00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:16,776 (beeping) 234 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,211 Hello? 235 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,914 What's the recipe for puttanesca sauce? 236 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,282 Oh, you want‐a the recipe? 237 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:23,917 Sure, sure, get a pencil. 238 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,785 Step‐a one‐‐ you come here. 239 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,720 Step‐a two‐‐ you pay for it. 240 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,223 Step‐a three‐‐ I put it on‐a some pasta. 241 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,592 And that's‐a the recipe! 242 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:33,826 (moans) 243 00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:36,963 (tires screeching) 244 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,098 ♪ ♪ 245 00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:40,833 (inhales deeply) 246 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,735 Oh, what a great day. 247 00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,637 Oh, you said it. 248 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,907 I spent five minutes today just looking at the sun. 249 00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:51,377 (grunts, groans) 250 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,813 Hey, where's Mom? 251 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,616 And why do I hear clicking from this closet? 252 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,087 Hold on a beat. 253 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,422 Just... hold on. 254 00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:05,592 Who was the one who said no screen time? 255 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,726 Who? 256 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,162 It was you. 257 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,064 (sighs) I know. 258 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,632 I have a problem. 259 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,234 So, I'm signing us all up for a month 260 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,836 at that screen addiction rehab center. 261 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,772 But we're not addicted, you are! 262 00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:21,674 That's exactly what an addict would say. 263 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,843 Or a normal person. 264 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,878 That's also what an addict would say. 265 00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:28,615 Well, what wouldn't an addict say?! 266 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,617 Not that, that's for sure. 267 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,619 We'll all go there starting tomorrow. 268 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,053 And I'll watch the pets. 269 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,989 I brought a bunch of them inside. 270 00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,457 (howling) 271 00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:38,891 I'm the beta. 272 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,665 BART AND LISA: Are we there yet? 273 00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,667 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 274 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:48,835 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 275 00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:51,070 Are we there yet? Are we there yet? 276 00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,873 ‐Are we there yet? ‐Knock off that racket! 277 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:57,910 I said knock it off! 278 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,048 Mom's got the problem. 279 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,716 How come we're stuck in... 280 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,351 paradise? 281 00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:08,354 Oh, Zen gardens, infinity pool? 282 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,523 Dr. Drew on call? 283 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,659 I'm just here because I can't stop Fruit Ninja. 284 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,694 Die, mangoes, die! 285 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,563 (grunting) 286 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,500 If this is an addiction center, I'm hooked. 287 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,834 Welcome to Messages. 288 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,170 I am Dr. Lund. 289 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,638 Doc, this prison is great. 290 00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:28,074 Nothing but the best for my family. 291 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,742 I just have one question. 292 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,446 How much does this place cost? 293 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,882 Your stay is entirely funded by donations 294 00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,785 from tech billionaires, who feel guilty 295 00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:42,722 that their sleek, disruptive technology put you here. 296 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,791 (gasps) It's free? 297 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:47,960 Kids, we've found our summer home. 298 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,763 The adults will reconnect with healthier, 299 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,266 time‐tested alternatives 300 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,768 like eating, drinking, fornicating, 301 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,771 relentless hide‐and‐seek, the braiding of hair, 302 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,641 listening to Dana Gould's podcast. 303 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:05,211 Four people suffocated in the Creature from the Black Lagoon's 304 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,847 suit until they got it right. At least, 305 00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,116 ‐I'm guessing that's true. ‐(sighs) 306 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,786 And you, young man, instead of playing first‐person shooters, 307 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,990 we are going to put a real rifle in your hands. 308 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,061 Take that, Second Amendment! 309 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,097 (grunting softly) 310 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:27,567 It's time to start healing, Marge. 311 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:29,135 I love your accent. 312 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,204 I didn't know I had one. 313 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,940 This is our one computer, on which you can say 314 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:37,777 auf wiedersehen forever to your old online life. 315 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:41,581 Farewell, Instagram, Facebook and NextDoor. 316 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:44,150 You all entertained me and scared me. 317 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,918 Yes, Marge, yes. 318 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,421 Cut forever the puppet strings that have made you 319 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,957 dance like a psychotic Pinocchio. 320 00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:53,259 AUTOMATED VOICE: Facebook accounts cannot be deleted. 321 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:56,429 Do not try. Do not try. 322 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,631 What is wrong, Homer? 323 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,566 Why the pickle puss? 324 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:04,437 I don't know if I can live in a world without online solitaire. 325 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,638 I have an answer for you. 326 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,206 It's sealed. 327 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:08,841 I will open the plastic. 328 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,843 The box is shut. 329 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,512 I will open the box. 330 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,679 ‐Could you...? ‐(grunts) 331 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,615 I‐I will deal the cards. 332 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,017 ‐And also...? ‐I will play the solitaire! 333 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,686 (whistling) 334 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,489 I need a jack, I need a jack. 335 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,825 I used my phone for everything. 336 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,660 Except to call the parents who gave it to me. 337 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,663 You can call them now. 338 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,598 Hello, Dad? 339 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,768 You don't say. You don't say. 340 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,837 You don't say. 341 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,005 What did he say? 342 00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,106 He hates me. 343 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,008 Okay, okay. Let's just talk. 344 00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,744 Any subject... except video games. 345 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,748 A tear rolled down my face, 346 00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,651 as my avatar did the electric shuffle on her corpse. 347 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:52,919 Yes! 348 00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:54,854 That game is awesome! 349 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,823 I'm losing control, but that's all right. 350 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,559 Today's therapist has many effective options. 351 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,895 (gas hissing) 352 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:07,767 The gas is never a good sign. 353 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:12,038 I have to say, all this talk about no devices 354 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,307 has really made me want my phone. 355 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:17,310 I know, I was talking with some guys about the weather, 356 00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,545 and I realized I have no idea 357 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,647 what the temperature is in Cupertino. 358 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,649 ‐I need my phone. ‐Me, too. 359 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,486 What if Krusty posted a tweet?! I must retweet! 360 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,721 ‐I must retweet! I must retweet! ‐I need my phone! 361 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,523 ‐I need my phone! ‐Must retweet, must retweet! 362 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,859 ‐Must retweet, must retweet! ‐I need my phone! 363 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:34,727 ‐Must retweet! ‐(growling): I need my phone! 364 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,396 ‐(laughs) ‐We can't leave! 365 00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:40,566 Studies show tech is more addictive than heroin. 366 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,069 Google and TikTok say that's a lie. 367 00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,871 We have to be cured. 368 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:47,907 You couldn't be more wrong, Marge. 369 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,710 You couldn't be more wrong. 370 00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:54,380 Since this nation was founded, families have faced the problem 371 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,884 of staying together without driving each other crazy. 372 00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,086 For the first 200 years, they played fiddle music 373 00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:01,587 until they had a war. 374 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,356 It was a good system. 375 00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,691 Then, they came up with sitting around a radio. 376 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,694 But without a screen, they still had time to look at each other. 377 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,697 So... World War II. 378 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:15,167 With peace came TV, which bought Silicon Valley the time 379 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,838 to invent the devices that isolate us completely. 380 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:22,608 Finally, the American family was safe... 381 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,644 from itself. 382 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,746 Is any of that true? 383 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,614 Once I post it on Reddit, 384 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,650 it will be. 385 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,285 Okay, we'll just say goodbye 386 00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,253 and then we'll get our things. 387 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,489 What's going on here? 388 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,458 I thought this was a screen‐free environment. 389 00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,127 It is, for the patients. 390 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:44,597 But the rest of us have side hustles to perpetrate. 391 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,800 "I'm making $400 a day from home. 392 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,769 Want to know how?" 393 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,805 You're sending that spam through my e‐mail account? 394 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:56,042 (gasps) You stole her password when she checked in! 395 00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:59,845 Unlike every other rehab, this one is a scam! 396 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,982 And we're gonna expose you to the world! 397 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,417 I'm afraid not. 398 00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,052 You signed a contract. 399 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:10,423 And every exit is guarded by a laser‐detection system. 400 00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:12,625 You have lasers at a rehab center? 401 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:16,862 Let me remind you, this is an evil rehab center. 402 00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,666 ♪ ♪ 403 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,408 (disc cracks) 404 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,281 ♪ ♪ 405 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,676 ♪ ♪ 406 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,896 Anyone order a ride from Jupiter One? 407 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,766 Ooh, I'm riding in a spaceship. 408 00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:30,970 Stick that spammer in the darkest, 409 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,205 dankest cell we've got, Lou. 410 00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,940 The one furthest from the Wi‐Fi. 411 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,709 One bar, scumbag. 412 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,678 One bar is all I need 413 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,913 to scramble your Spotify suggestions. 414 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,582 Hope you like Little River Band. 415 00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:45,718 ("Reminiscing" by Little River Band playing) 416 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,787 (Wiggum humming) 417 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,121 (Lund grumbles) 418 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,723 (Wiggum continues humming) 419 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,692 (Lund clears throat) 420 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:56,529 (groaning) 421 00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,864 ‐(straining) ‐(continues humming) 422 00:19:58,931 --> 00:19:59,899 No, no! 423 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:03,803 Please, turn the siren on. 424 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:04,704 (siren wailing) 425 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,005 LUND: Ah! Much better. 426 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,611 Only 12 doughnuts for three cops‐‐ well, there's no way 427 00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:15,181 to divide them evenly, so, uh, I'll just eat them all. 428 00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:16,816 Captain Wiggum, 429 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,785 I could help you with your food addiction. 430 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,454 Huh? Uh, what do you mean? 431 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,356 Psychologically, you are a baby with a gun, 432 00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,525 sticking food in his mouth. 433 00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:30,162 Eat, eat, eat, all the day, like a schwein. 434 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,697 Wow, you are such a great profiler. 435 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,767 With you, we wouldn't even need DNA evidence. 436 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,535 Boy, so sick of getting criminals 437 00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,370 to give semen samples. 438 00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,206 Uh, Chief, you don't need semen. 439 00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:41,874 A lock of hair will do. 440 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,642 It what?! 441 00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:56,655 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 442 00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,923 Shh!